Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize