And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
