I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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