It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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