1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.