Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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