I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
All I want is dick and wine.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
