He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Found your dick twin last night
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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