let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
