Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
This baby is an asshole
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
