So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize