I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize