It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
