that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
