I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
