I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize