he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just google imaged poop.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
