My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.