I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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