We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
