I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
