i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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