i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
