he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
