margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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