Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
