what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
