You can't motorboat a personality
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
