I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
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Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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