i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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