I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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