Me. At least after what I've been through.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I need a burrito and a hug.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
