you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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