sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
