everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
