I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Randomize
