ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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