You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
