Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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