I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
