no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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