yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
