Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
