i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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