just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
