ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
