Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So vagazzling was a success
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
