you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize