There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
