I love black thongs
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
