Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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