And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
this hospital has no fireball
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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