were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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