O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
