wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
