Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
