Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
