I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
