To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
