paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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