we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
