i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
