fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
