dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
