Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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