it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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